you dont care about us

zxcv

2007-10-26T03:37:00.000+08:00

go to chairsinhellwithournamesonit.blogspot.com

x

2007-10-20T05:28:00.001+08:00

i wanna be much more like you
your effortlessly graceful scene
that drips from every pore of you
where logic cannot intervene
i wanna take a bath with you
and wash the chaos from my skin
i wanna see the girl in you
the way you swing your hips in jeans
i wanna wear my face like you
shiseido MAC and Maybelline
i wanna paint the town with you
and tickle you until you scream
i wanna fall in love with you
so how do i begin

red flags and long nights

2007-10-09T03:26:00.000+08:00

Its never hard to tell when things are done,
She looked into my eyes and a voice said "Run.
i think im a mess but its alright
whether its two weeks, two years or just tonight

shes pretty and I like her but shes too well
cause I need red flags and long nights and she can tell
-----

every sky is gray, it stains of yesterday

2007-09-28T03:03:00.000+08:00

shy and silent, sweet but violent
hope you remember everything thats said
about this place going down for sure
bout people paying to get laid

the dreams dont seem so far
when we edit who we are
although the sky is blue
its not for me and you

there's a place in my mind
where girls like you are the kind
who made me the parent of a flood
of children running on black market blood

so why should i trust you
when you're starting to kill me now
it's starting to get so cold,

old.

S08057-07

2007-09-22T02:03:00.000+08:00

boy on the bike
cycling round the town
going up or going down
you're going nowhere

its not as if they pay you
its not as if its fun
well at least not anymore
when your knees turn black and blue

x3

2007-05-25T07:00:00.000+08:00

7.12am friday morning

i'm sick of coloured hair
don't care about what you wear
i hate the things i see
don't care about anarchy
i'm sick of boring bands
rock stars and all their fans
the new wave overtones
and all the leather jacket clones

i'm sick of pins and chains
hard drugs and dizzy brains
i'm sick of cheap romance
people who never dance
i'm sick of all the drunks
the poseurs and the punks
the stupid things they've done
i'm getting sick of everyone
---

about ss1.

this is it,
the darkest hour
isn't it depressing?
how our minds create an atmosphere
that won't happen here
unless we make some new demands
to grasp the future in our hands
you know i wish i could but its too late
for senseless minds that love to hate

----

sometimes i think of old friends
but they all seem the same
chancers and whores,
then i see them,
and they can't remember my name
i guess i'm just like them,
probably i'm just a bore
i could hate them,
but i've never done that before
i've got lots of good friends,
i don't seem to need any more

----
if your whole life feels incomplete
learn this song and sing yourself to sleep

anger turns to hatred - as the nights turn into days
people disappoint me in so many different ways
close your eyes - drift off to sleep
this song i sing is yours to keep

love belongs to no one - no one seems to care
i'm convinced that you could change my mind
if you were there

from the queen of E to the hounds of hell

2007-05-23T08:09:00.000+08:00

"there's always a desire in all of us to invoke mindless violence once in a while, even jesus would wanna whack the shite out of satan if they met in a bar"

undeniable, isnt it? like lately, ive been feeling abit ultraviolent. abit in the day, a bit in the night.. even when i shower, i fantasize bout walking up to the home club management while they're sipping their bevs, flipthrow the table at calvin and start a scene.while he's in shock with a broken nose( or face), id take one of those tall chairs they have and whack the fuck out of him till he's pathetic unconcious on the floor. then spit at him and fuck off. 5 minutes at most, End of story. i am not proud of thinking thoughts like these but i'd confess ticking it as a desire.

even when im in the train going home from work, id wish kicking someone out of the train via the fibreglass windows. feel like a psycho, for even thinking these thoughts out of boredom. but they come and go, probably, im just feeling a little messed up at the moment. ah fuck talking bout my feelings now

i wish i could explain the meaning of balance now but im too fucking cant be bothered.
--------

is it bright where you are
have the people changed
does it make you happy
you're so sad its strange

and in your darkest hour,
i hold secret's flame
you can watch the world
devoured in its pain
------

they can make things worse for me,
sometimes id rather die
they can tell me lots of things,
but i cant see eye to eye
i know they know the way i think,
i know they always will
someday im gonna change my mind,
sometimes id rather kill

blood stains, speed kills
fast cars, cheap thrills
rich girls, fine wine
ive lost my sense, ive lost control, ive lost my mind
---

its cute in a way
till you cannot speak,
and you leave to have a cigarette
your knees get weak,
an escape is just a nod and a casual wave
obsessed about it,
heavy for the next two days

it's only just a crush it'll go away,
it's just like all the others it'll go away
or maybe this is danger and you just don't know
you pray it all away but it continues to grow

high and dry

2007-05-07T04:31:00.000+08:00

what the fuck is wrong with blogger?
---
went skating today at kmbgn. feels good to be skating after a long time plus someone say i look like "geoff rowley". haha, reminds me of my secondary school skating days. feel like skating more these days

"i like to skate because i know its something i can do which many people wish they could, and it makes you a stronger person mentally"

ah, there goes the weekend.
---
here's some pics of the botanic gardens trip on fri.

minimalist pic of an emergent(a tree that shoots up above the other mediocre trees)

mamat would caption this pic "suicidal thoughts". taken by ac

these teenage lips they speak too fast

mia "love as laughter"

memoirs of a battle photographer

street spirit

details

until he realised walls

"very mona lisa" haha.

-------

fuck you fuck off fuck me fuck soft

2007-05-03T04:20:00.000+08:00

hmm, i played 5 games of tahiti and i won all five. now that made me feel good about myself. fuck if only those fuckers dared to gamble id be rich

besides that i stayed home for 22 out of 24 hours of the day and i'd pretty much call it a boring wednesday. fucking boring wednesday. and im broke now tsk

-----

when youre bored at home you tend to be fascinated by things

like a korean made blood red cigg filter

drew this while i was in the toilet, above average narcissism

this too, and felt like drawing "666" all over him.
but i didn't because that would just be fucking rude

this took some time to draw, not very proud of it though. lack dynamics

oh yeh, this is the shite i read since i was young

"our lives could be a National Geographic article"

------
i think, we teenagers arent actually afraid of issues like poverty or disease. we are afraid shite issues like boredom and boredom can drive you to the tips. or tits, it's been so long since i actually touched one(explains the title of this post)

the last supper

2007-05-02T00:59:00.000+08:00

"my ambition in life is to see snow." -rae

-------

went drinking today.

the beginning of the last supper

on antibiotics, so lemon tea shall be my cup of tea.

ARGH! THE GERMANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when spooning in a boat isnt enough

me + a few cans= still cool

jup + a few cans= a total twit

our little tea party

lu sudah seh pe johnny

"i wish i knew how to quit you"

budak-budak Brain Damage.

--------
listening to "hands down by dashboard confessional now, its one of those songs you repeat again and again just to make yourself feel sad and sorry for yourself and actually get a kick out of it.

"my heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break and bury or wear as jewellery"

tsk, cupboard emo fucker.

ah should find a job soon(fuck), and have clean* fun this weekend.

*no meeting of erica or bob or whoever

but i know, we all know, this "everything's free" lifestyle cannot carry on forever. someday i'll have to face reality in the face and no drug is powerful enough to treat that. no skills of thievery is gonna get me a house or a living.

but then again, i dont have to face reality now, do i? yes but no,
it's the golden age of hedonism and that's what i think it is

grudges like lonely high court judges

2007-05-01T05:05:00.000+08:00

"you lose logic when you develop feelings. emotions are there just to fuck you up"

Well, I can't explain how we made it this far
And you should know, only you control my heart
Feelings overshadow reason,
blocks out everything
for all that matters should be me not you

breakingthebroken-sparta
---
it just sounded like a goodbye.

cleaned roland's house today and put up the curtains. then had meaningful conversations.

which i shall not elaborate,

i dont know what this is supposed to be, it's taken by zul

asnim, ran away from home 5days and counting

the sun of another day comes down
he collapse on the ground
as the crime scene revisits him

me, that's how cold the fucking bus was
-------

fuck im better than this. i will pick myself up, no big deal.

zero

2007-04-30T01:06:00.000+08:00

drunk on immorality
valium and cherry wine
coke and ecstasy
im gonna blow my mind

sleep may be the enemy
but so's another line
it's a remedy
we should take more time
----

me

Zul O Nam, feeling artic monkeys

jup and asnim, not able to enter Home.

sarah and i

cool pic shafiq

deepthinking guy at macs, some people actually get a kick out of secretly taking photos of people without them knowing. weird interest

jeff playing at Home, taken by sarah.
its quite impressive the composition
--------

for some reason,it's a compliment when someone calls you strange or weird. everybody wants to be strange, everybody wants to be weird dont they? what if, youre not the beautiful or unique snowflake your teachers and relatives said you are. you're indeed normal, boring and mediocre and you're so desprerate to stand out you do shite to make yourself look like a piece of art.

fuck i'd fear that.
i'd fear people knowing that im not special.
point is, mediocrity. being so small, no one could possibly hear your voice.

----
you may tire of me,
cause our december sun is setting,
and im not who i used to be

my mica

2007-04-28T09:53:00.000+08:00

my room's like, a hotel
every night i keep writing
note to self : no one cares,
your voice is average
in worried piles I typed for miles and you just stood there

-----------

killer jupbil

cult hero

cute ah this one

forever blowing bubbles

-------
fuck balls the last post before this was last year, ah actually i deleted most of my posts because i think they're stupid and not worth keeping

suntec city ledge

2006-06-23T14:29:00.000+08:00

i dont know what i do not know

2006-05-07T01:12:00.000+08:00

john and 1

pilots

incantevole

July,July!

turn to real life

------

okay sorry eh

stand inside your love

2006-04-22T20:19:00.000+08:00

----

you and me i thhought would be,
immutable, impossible
our destiny of pure lunacy,
incalutable, insufferable

for the last time
youre everything that i want and ask for

youre all i've been dreaming,

who wouldn't be the one you love..
who wouldn't stand inside your love..

protected and the lover of
a pure soul and beautiful you,

don't understand,don't feel me now
i will breathe for the both of us
travel the world, traverse the skies..

your home is here- within my heart,

and for the first time

i feel as though I am reborn,
in my mind

recast as child and mystic sage
i'm telling you how much I need and bleed for-

your every move and waking sound
in my time
wrap your wire around my heart and my mind
and they bleed forever
-------

hard as nails

MEDS

2006-03-30T02:32:00.000+08:00

placebo.

sleeping with ghosts

the extra guitarist/keyboardist

soulmates never die

every me every you

song to say goodbye

-------feel
feel
ill.

imcominguponinfra-redthereisnorunningthatcanhideyoucauseicanseein thedark
---------
is that the You of me,
the women spinning, the men are drinking
my eyes are red when you celebrate your birthday
paramedics rush as one by one i slay

hope you wont end up as one of my mistakes,
i cant imagine your picture on the floor
i used to have the only key
but now i dont like you anymore

disco dolly you were my peace, surreal
if you were crying i would hold you
you made the plans,and cars will crash
and i leave yo u..
just dancing in the dark.

hello. Je mapelle Desire.

2006-02-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

prince of stories

desire.

delirium

destruction.

zxc

2006-02-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

yan pars

yan kream

oh what fucking joyful fucks do we have here

i look psychoticly gay enough to slide

the matrix

rachel

jd, Ah Lay lee

hadi

you never know what you get when you point at trees in the night, i got this picture.
orbs

park lights

azhar

playing with fire

playing with chemicals

maltin

sam

rai

sj

azhar in the talk show,

----

im all alone so far up here
and the oxygen is all gone
bend, bend the metal
my glory box is failing

HKD

2006-02-07T00:18:00.000+08:00

flip skate crew

then we went jamming at clark quay

maltin, thirst

malt and butter

maltin, scream

adam

zach on solo

12.59 friday the thirteenth

2006-01-13T01:12:00.000+08:00

disease

today your heart, tomorrow your world

mereka melion di tepi pantai(they melioned by the river)

smiling at your headlight of tragedy

waves

-----

ten nine eight
im all dressed up and ready to play
six five four
and they're coming for you,
youre dressed up too but you dunno what to do
three two one
we're having fun.

-----
tel me honnestley
am i atleast adorable,
no God sent decay
are you there love
in this time to play
youre my discotheque of no replay
oh such rainy day
are you there
love

oh so gorgeous

stupid fucker

2005-12-19T01:24:00.000+08:00

a potential christmas

stelly and the stars

mr raihan

smile for firsts

my body is for you

glow

light

all the people running,
crossing kissing and dying
carbon copies of models
pasted on papers on the walls
we wish to slay one another
but we're children to law and order
your boss is always smiling
literally he owns your country
and you are wishing,
you were rich by 20.

maybe someday,
have hope.

citylink day

2005-11-29T22:40:00.000+08:00

i received a file of pictures about a day in town, so i think i'll just post some pictures taken by hanafie.

i received them about 2 weeks ago, and since i have nothing to post so might as well i just put them up.

jon and the tree

the tree and I

hysterical people and a praying me

nancy boy

cardbox car
-------

friends are friends until they grow out

star mold

2005-11-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

every me and every you

shoulders toast at knees,36 degrees

one seven two three nine eight five i gotta breed to stay alive
and one four two nine seven eight feels like im gonna suffocate
eighteen sixteen twenty two the skin that turns the blisters blue

angels do headbang

a couple where everyone's double

peter parkers

we all take pictures of one another each other taking pictures of every other

shiny x mas ball on an x mas tree

it says "fuck the world

me

such great heights

im smiling!

may such honeymoon feel last long.

fucking narcissis(mon cher,je suis desole) but youre still very beautiful

-----

just like stars that explode
a rain drenched coat,
running like a boy
carrying baguettes in the rain
my pretty girlfriend
i will revive you
in my slashed arms
that my sleeves hide
embrace we have,
the rain is a gift for you
speaking of special days,
lets forget the dates
now as the months go down,
i see it all as one good time
these places we've never been before
songs i love that could never mean more
tell the difference between care and desire
love and friendship,growing up and staying young
in this rain, put your best dress on
so it'll look priceless,wet and unappropriate
make this evening one to remember,
new dear
----

okay jon, i've updated,again.
(dont worry jon, im married to skateboarding)

die trying.

milord.

2005-11-11T03:23:00.000+08:00

In a big, big way
I am really small
I get off my feet
But i'm still distant

Callie let us get it over with
I can always get you down
if you got the money for me
Callie in the summerrain
You will be kept dry you see
If you got the money for me

Most of our lives we try so hard
to find the time
I won't care for you
like I'm really supposed to
there are things I'll do
that could really hurt you

Don't you just love goodbyes?
156
Don't you just love goodbyes?
156
Don't you just love goodbyes?
156,
156.
----

it's a nice way i think to wake up next to you
you cannot see them,you cannot see my nightmares
when it is light, but you disappear like night
soaked in sweat, and my pillow's cold
no one feels, the delicate hand i hold
please dont be this way
on the floor you stay
please dont laugh at me
when im too shocked to say
that i was walking this walk for you
and i am feeling this pain for you

like an avalanche

this modern love

2005-11-02T04:42:00.000+08:00

happy now, even if i am fooled
even if im far behind
your mother's rules,is something i call cruel
for i am here with you

you're so nice
when you kiss my eyes
and there's no one around us
so lets go to sleep and forget about them

-------

be satisfied

i want to know, beneath your glow

2005-10-16T22:07:00.001+08:00

hand grenade

glycerine atmosphere.

a Kallang Friday

---
i know you,
and i know you take this one to make me smile
listen with your eyes closed
can you see now what's killing me?

i've worked hard to be your lover,
until i've broken into your office
i would cry to and hate my features
if to be wry is what you desire
hear me, a something you should know

almost perfect but i failed.

2005-10-14T02:33:00.000+08:00

window and plant

paper hearts in the back of a bus seat

eh play "Am I Wry? No" ar dok

being emo with a core.

girls girls girls girls girls girls...(that's leon for you)

hafiz is a sleep machine

and 1 was destroyed

-------
it's simply just like
when hills are green but there's no light
a morning train, where all passengers are girls
yes i'm the hopeless youre the atmosphere
the empty touch you gave shows who you are,
someone with unhealing scars

and i am your knife, you are my life
i'll cut you someday,andd i die again,
in a court where everyone's identically different
there i left you in pain.

tempest touch

2005-10-11T02:18:00.000+08:00

if this silence will make you fall in love
cause in my head, there's a grey broken house by the fire station
give me gentle scant kiss, it will kill me to sleep
and i cant believe it's you

when i woke up, the wind was slicing your hair
i did not dream, but to wake up and seeing you
and see you glow just like the stars
i cant believe it's true, when i
wake up and it's you

it's kinda crazy

2005-10-07T02:10:00.000+08:00

the piano melody,
it makes stars sing to dancing trees
watching rewinds of lesbian pornography
my future is as gray as the smoke i see

that girl is in a car speeding on slippery road
bestfriends are home, thinking of what they wanna be
without arms holding me safe,
think it feels better now to be me

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

perspective

pearls cast aside

a lizard on a lightbulb

what they say when you leave the room

2005-10-06T02:16:00.000+08:00

after you, began to look like stone
choking me with dust and debris from your breath
painfully.. choking me..
with all the uglyness unmasked in you

fall with me to the bottom of the sea
you will not see sunset this time
but you'll be, touching pearls and dancing on sand
and then I, will be there,
laughing as we drown

no, you can't swim with your tears heavier than salt
and you can't scream with water in your mouth
you can't kiss me with my sand in my mouth
but you can see this hate i have for you now

perspective emotional theory- figure 1.

2005-07-27T22:47:00.000+08:00

well i cant explain
what i think of you now
you're so far away
without words to say.
----

as the rich is getting richer,
the poor is getting poorer
maria by the corner
thinking ways to make it better

santana.
by ink.

basic drawing

me and yan's basicdrawing

old man on a bicycle at esplanade

screamings behind the steel door

skating after school

yan. retry.

------

well look at m e
sorry truth i cant explain
when how why i'm not okay
not normal not prefect not enough for you

i would wanna give up everything that i got
comb hair quit smoking get closer to God
turn this lethargy, into attractive decency
this wounds heal and soon a heart you'll know, that feels

but all i can do is
to ask you out and hope you say
you have nothing to do anyway
now i'd rather talk to unbroken clay

now i'm here again in the last cabin of the train
thinking again holding my phone, should i text you
today tonight has sucked leter i'm gonna blog
have a happy and safe ride to my psychoself with nothing new
-------

what if one day Marilyn Manson eats up one of us
just lets get fucked up and see who dies first

splinter highway you walk

2005-07-17T19:51:00.000+08:00

okay hi. lets do this thing. how am i doing now.. okay.

okay went to baybeats meet up with some old friends. listened to some jenngjeeng tak tak jeenng jeeng jeng tunes then chilled for a while.
then went to fullerton hotel and came home in the morning, some birthday thing. the place was beautiful and guys were quite nice people. the girls are quite hot. so, got to know new people, and went to some place i never thought i'll ever go to.

you see, i can never do really good reviews of my everyday nonsense.

oh ya, maltin. congrats on your first time being drunk.
well, now you know. doesn't getting drunk suck?
oh well at least you didn't vomit.
-------------

your colourful life of much joy will bring you to a conclusion of a gun.

pills that kill. the lust of eternal high.
forget even if it could make you die.

from the rich and the poor
and the most very rich and the very poor
he stole all hearts away

first of the gang to die.

the birds of one wing,

2005-07-11T21:24:00.000+08:00

tall shadows of bright white
people scurry around that chinatown place
and contrast of the red desaturates
when i see you go away from here

and hold for now
so beautiful when colours part you from the rest
and its so sad when you seem to get further and further
for i'm waiting for tonights and tomorrows

oh eyes of grace
killed evil in me
and these months will be similar
of empty afternoons ahead.

pop a nollie

and roll home smoothly

------

follow me
with your eyes closed
i dont know you
but it wont be long to make you smile
sparkle eyes,full of lies
your smiling hides the hurt inside
everyone's broken you know?
everyone's crying you know?
even Richie is weeping for his paralysed friend

Sorry?

2005-06-17T03:50:00.000+08:00

i think people dont actually read my blog so maybe i shouldn't talk so much. should just shut up and put up pictures

fengshan

jon

youth of the wall.
wall of Youth
wall of stupid gay dancers.

the new Rowley's part in Flip Skateboard's "Really Really Really Sorry."

the words of a minor scar of my left side

2005-06-09T22:17:00.000+08:00

it would really be nice to see the world together with a the stars and dimensions crash and burn and leaving only one person to survive, to cry, to weep, to scream, to mourn.

to despair
to despai r
to despa i r
to desp a i r
to desp a i r
to des p a i r
to des p a i r

to despair over the bittersweet beauty.

monday you can fall apart tuesday wednesday break my heart thursday doesn't even start its friday the 13 i'm in love

2005-05-14T03:09:00.000+08:00

tonight had the blackest skies
oh your ever calling is such a lie
and all this angst in me is free
to instigate the crave to disappear
to fade

but my eyes cant shut
when i, try to sleep
when your eyes are bright
in the photo on my ceiling
and my soul would depart
if you still do not know
that these tears they fall
it's never ever just for show
you are blind to my fears
and i am blind to yours
hope is fine sand, gusted into eyes
a placebo of all those lies
im trying to sleep it's 7am
you're having a dream, on your way to school
i always wonder if you'll pass by me today
in town in the train or in the rain
i wonder if you'll mind me text you now
that icant sleep i'm missing you
and you're hecticly going to school
on seconds of thought i'll just run through my inbox
read those little messages you sent me before
till my eyes drown in tears
and i go to sleep.
--------------

okay today is friday the 13. it was a really bad day because holly didn't msg or anything. therefore iwas sad. PLUS my mom didn't give me money when i wantedto go out. she started nagging about what a hopeless persom i am because i dont have a job. for gods sake, if you really wanted me to get a job i could go sell cigarettes and give you some money every day and show you how productive i am. stop comparing mom, there are countless things that i can do which those cousins and friends cannot do.
and if i compared, i'll blame you and dad for not getting me and ipod or a new skateboard or new shoes. all the while everything i used my own monwy so what are you complaining about? except for bills. i mean for goodness sake i still dont even get regular pocket money and not to mention allowance to buy stuff.anyway that's not the point, the point is what if one fateful day i'm gonna go out with HG and i have no cash. damn.so probably i'll be working at a carwash or something. which starts at night and ends in the morning somewhere in bishan/angmokio.omg that's so near to her house what if she sees me. eew.

bottomline is, being broke sucks but working sucks more but no money for special functions sucks most.

taxi wash-$2.50
normal car wash-$4.50
better than normal car wash-$5.50
seeing someone you know freak out-priceless.

okay whatever.car wash, whole nights washing cars. i dont even wanna think about it.
okay what was the topic? okay friday the thirteen. today i slapped raimi so hard he was unconcious on the floor for 5 seconds. only one.for some reason of respect and his own good. and skating today? i went to Go Sports, which is at queenstown with hanafie, maltin, jon and gary and after that we went to jurong skate park. which i can swear by god is the most lousiestest skate park ever.and from jurong back to simei is pretty far. plus i felt like taking a joyride and maybe i might see holly on the way home so i took the red line. which is... 34 stops. well well. and now i'm home. I mean of course im home what the hell is wrong with me. bloody freakazoid.

bottomline is, i'm a bloody freakazoidosaurous.

one thing i find so amazing about holly is that she never curses.
i mean everyone gets angry and every scolds this and scolds that.
for me it's just a plain literature.
but somehow, like maltin said, holly is a mind control monster and my mind is a fallen victim. i am changing to a good-er person and he says i'm talking like a chij girl.(for the final call, i do not.)i sorta curse less now too.
except when it comes to maltin because his face just literally says"CURSE ME CURSE LIKE I"M YOUR INCOME TAX COLLECTOR."

bottom line is, holly is a very sweet girl and maltin is not an income tax collector.

shadow soldiers.(ps-ed)

Dream, of the Endless family.(ps-ed)

oh oh okay next time i'll make Death, Despair, Delirium, Desire, Destruction,Delight and Destiny of the Endless

sweet screaming
byebye.

suffer.

2005-05-12T04:47:00.000+08:00

guess what?

i accidentally deleted my post again. so okay i'll just load pictures and write a short one.

today i went to toa payoh. with maltin, hanafie, and jon. i came 4 hours late.

while skating, my watch flew away from my wrist and landed like 1 km away from me. when i swinged my arms and flicked my wrists. the clear thing shattered.

it was 1 percent sad over a nice watch and 99% cool.

hanafie, ang mokio skater.(bloody good)
bs lipslide!

raihan, S.O.M.A (not bloody good)
fs noseblunt!

maltin and rai, dark clouds in starry nights.
sitting on the kerb!

i tried to make you happy
but i'm sorry, i'm falling
i hope to see more angels, not shadows
i tried to pretend to be happy
but i'm sorry, i'm falling.

(sorry my sisters waking up for school at 6! i'll write more and have more pics next time! ciao!)

*SOMA- simei one man army

the most boring post ever

2005-05-09T17:28:00.000+08:00

(the most boring post ever)

hi i just came back from fetching my brother from his kindergarten.
haha, he kinda like this girl called rachel and i think it's soo cute. haha, but nothing's gonna happen i think i dunno.

that was random.

okay i'm gonna go eat dinner at i dunno where its supposed to be mother's day dinner.

sweet sayonara.

giving light to someone just like you.

he is the overwhelming shadow you are the girl in his heart six feet below.

okay that's about it, sweet sayanaro.
(didn't i tell you it's the most boring post ever?)

-----------------------------------------------------

continued after a 6 hour recess.

from photographs to diaries.
from diaries to memories.

i spent almost 2 hours trying to do this stupid thing. photoshopp is kninda cool sometimes and sometimes it gets to your nerves. well well today was okay. dinner at simpang bedok was very nice. my sister is acting sooo "teenager now, to influences of hillary duff and etc etc. talking so much. urgh. raimi is acting so angstful now. it's like there's this unbearable heat at home he cannot take. sigh. my youngest brother, sometimes i never realise how cute he is. i mean he's like a.. "dog/cat/little vicious creature". haha, he's quite cool because he can pick up phones and fetch snacks from the kitchen. for me.

and i'm just the same silent eldest brother who goes,"eh where's my lighter?"
and then i shut up and say another sentence in another 2 hours or so. if i'm at home.

sometimes i wish i can talk more.
sometimes i wish people would just shut up.

it's like when i'm alone with a girl, my mouth freezes and my mind is trafficking a thousand messages per nanosecond.
"shesmiledcokespritetimeis10oclocknice shoesismyhairokaywatchyourstepareyourhandsdirtylistengood..." that's what goes in mind mind but if someone asks, i just say its nothing.
when i walk in a crowd, the attention span is divided to the uncountable tongues speaking and bitching.

and yes maltin, if you call me antisocial for putting my earphones on, that's the reason why.

sigh, today is such a quiet day.

the people talking about me
they care so much about what they see
do i feel happy or do i feel sad
these things dont matter for free

why are her eyes so a brown
of the strangest mysteries
the voices all whisper to me
her eyes are colored with joy and glee
with shadows of vacancy
mines a picture of misery.

even rowley cannot skate my heart.

2005-05-05T04:02:00.000+08:00

okay hi.

now let me tell you a story of a two boys who went to KL for one weekend. as in 1 day and came back home the next day.

the first boy is Azhar.

the other is Raihan.

they were ex-schoolmates. they smoked in toilets, slept through class, defied teachers, and burnt school decorations.

once they even burnt the school p-e room.(classic.)

and yea, so one day they went to kl and resided in some almost serviceless hotel. when you look out of the window,you see a methodist church which kinda look like a prison.

Wisma Methodist "something"

time was unproductively spent by

watching tv..

lying in bed
writing and drawing
smoking like each cigarette contains vitamin C
thinking...

and occasionally, they'd look out of the window to observe little malaysian chinese girls playing some game i dont know what it's called and boys playing soccer.

at dusk, they went to chinatown to buy this and that and this and that and by 12midnight, theydrank rich PEACH VODKA on the rocks and had hangover on the journey back home the following day.(pictures notavailable)..so WHAT A SPLENDID TRIP!

okay and now my computer still spoilt.
and i write down stuff in a book.

the words you scribbled on the walls.

with the loss of friends you didnt have.

i passed by on sunday
hoping to see you when you returned from service
i passed by on monday
hoping to see you walking home with peace
ad i passed by today
with dead hopes thoughts hard as nails
it's a waste of time
yes it's a waste of time
but i believe those angels under the trees witnessed
when they saw the same boy with the same hopes of seeing the same girl each night.

one thing i loved about singapore is that you live there.

aihfoiahofhaohfioahhafh

2005-04-29T03:04:00.000+08:00

pasir ris gig somewhere somedate 2005. how come i can tell tha that guy is my cousin?

pasir ris river

rai dan and kentalios.

new Warcraft character by the name of "Rai.

taken from dan's room. apartment on fire.(if God was someone like azhar.)

the speed of security.

a self portrait

"My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer"

for more info on my post, buy a dashboard confessional album.

when the impromptu things departing is so gray

2005-04-21T21:30:00.000+08:00

white screen shining bright
your face i see light
i dream you as a princess
or just someone i adore
princess in the twilight gardens
i'll never ask for more
---------------------------------------------------
each heart holding a thousand books
each book keeps a thousand picture
each picture portray a thousand daggers
and every dagger with a thousand teeth

each teeth cutting a thousand hearts.

the drowningman.com.ing/tmr.

the birthday day.

2005-04-04T00:56:00.000+08:00

okay hi
went to danial's birthday gathering or whatever it is yesterday, it was okay. everyone was happy os yea, it was quite good. then spent the night at his place with naqib, shahrul ,az, yazid, and raimi, watched "SAW" half way, listened to boybands(they say that one should appreciate the music that others listen to), and everyone fell asleep at like 6,so i was there wake alone in the morning. Danial's maid was cooking eggs and i watched the sunrise. it was kinda nice, no wonder they encourage people to wake up early, ( to watch sunrises).

okay a picture is a thousand words.
here's how the story goes roughly.

i reached danial's house, i went to danial's room and they played some music and everyone was happy and i was like " hey, let's take pictures!"

and so they played some song by "UB40. there was no kick therefore i thought i could start a riot with an acoustic guitar.

there you go. the boy who destroyed the world with an ACOUSTIC guitar.

and so they went swimming and asked"HEY RAI< WANNA GO SWIM?" and emoboy was like" no it's okay, i'll just sit by the window and stare at the stupid beautiful sky.

then when danial's mom and dad went out already, after they swam, the house got evenwilder. i only take photos i dont party.

so it's dusk, red skies and carbon houses. we ate and then we went to east coast.

there was a blackout, not that you would even care but a park during a blackout is a rather dangerous place.we used handphones to navigate. and i used the flash from the camera to stun people.this was after the blackout.

we reached the pool place, the picture shows " McNaqib Burger with cheese $3.95 special offer

Mr Smack-K. i look super dead that day they say. anyway, what's the point of dressing up nice if you're not gonna meet a girl or something. but hey, i still look okay even with a not-ironed shirt.

governmental flaw, no smoking in a park?

so yea, ROWLEY THANKS EVERYONE OUT THERE FOR SKATING EAST COAST PARK.

the sun and sand are perfect, this way
the sight of games the children play
i write that i missed you infinitely, today
but no one will never ever feel, my say.

okay i think on either 5th, 6th,7th,or 8th of this month(i dont even know), mediacorp wants me to skate for them. maybe i'll say something like " keep the cash, I skate for the starving people in Africa."

but no i wont do that, cause that's just egoistical. OH YA! i could maybe pretend i fall REALLY badly and mediacorp might give me more money! on second thought NO. they'll just cut it short and ban skateboarding.

and i'll be romeo and skating will be juliet and i'll be exile with singaporean skaters wanting my head.

okay so it's a zach+ a maltin + a daniel + a raihan thing.
i can hardly wait.